1
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2
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- Qualitative study of perceptions of young people in their early-mid =
20s
related to traditional & non-traditional gender roles, sexual identities, relation=
ships,
& pleasure.
- In what ways do constructs such as the “good girl” and
“tough guy” have meaning in their lives & relationsh=
ips?
- How do these roles and identities constrain or define gendered sexual
identities & experiences?
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3
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- Gender as social construct; as performance (Butler, 1993;
- Gender & sexual identities under flux; exist on continuum. Young
people are pioneers. (Savin-Williams, 2005)
- Nuances of patriarchal domination; feminist study of masculinities (=
e.g.
Connell, 1995)
- Multicultural matrices of domination (Hill Collins, 1990)
- “Gender may be fragmenting but it still permeates the structur=
e of
social order” (Lorbeer, 2005, p. xii).
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4
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5
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- Male social and political domination led to norms based on:
- Acceptance of the social order by males & females
- Dominating social & sexual behavior by males
- Repression of females, the feminine, & homosexuality.
- Disciplining of masculinity
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6
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- Tug and pull between security/ social acceptability vs. personal
authenticity.
- Heteronormativity - Marriage and roles of wife and husband still car=
ry
heavy symbolic weight.
- Legacy of traditional gender roles affects daily life, & people =
in
same and other-gender relationships.
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7
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- Focus group discussions led by Thompson, undergraduate psychology
student at IUP, & Crane-Seeber, IR doctoral student at American
University.
- Thus far (ongoing project) three groups with 14 participants + 2
participant-researchers
- 2 groups at a college in rural western Pennsylvania, 1 group in
Washington, DC.
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8
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- Information-rich cases
- Young people who were familiar with this theory, having heard class
presentation and/or read article; sophisticated about gender/sexuali=
ty.
- Ages 20-28; median age 23
- Ethnicity – white/European heritage; additional data collection
will include other races/ethnicities
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9
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- 2/3 focus groups in western PA: No nudity in women’s sauna; ve=
ry
Christian, but “hook-ups”/casual sex becoming more commo=
n.
- Voluntary sample of those who had taken Sociology of Sexuality class=
or
read article; relatively sophisticated about sexuality and gender
theory.
- As one said: “I think that the ways in which the social guidel=
ines
tell us the way that we should be, and should not be, with gender and
with sexuality, are incredibly mind-boggling.”
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10
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- Gender identity: Female (8); Queer (1); Neutral (1); Male (4)
- Sexual identity: Hetero/straight (2); Hetero, open, bi-curious (3);
Queer (4); Lesbian or gay (2); Bi-sexual (2)
- Socio-Economic Class – Raised poor or working class (4); lower
middle class (3); middle class (5); upper class (1)
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11
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- Fluidity around gender/sexual identity.
- Awareness of & resistance to traditional expectations and
heterosexual imperative. For those in same-sex relationships,
traditional roles are a backdrop, but are “making it up as we =
go
along.”
- Males feeling more confined by traditional roles; less support for
change.
- Women - 3rd-wavy, “post-modern feminists” sti=
ll
oriented toward the protector-dominator “tough guys.”
- May have sex with tough guys, but don’t trust them; Difficulty
initiating sex with sweet guys.
- May not trust the sweet guys; see them as reverting to tough guy.=
li>
- Another thinks “sweet guys are really sexy.”
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12
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- M -“I sort of jump back & forth between perceived
genders.”
- F- As far as gender, I have such a mixture of traditionally feminine=
and
masculine traits that I don’t even bother trying to identify t=
hem
anymore. I only identify with people who also seem to have that mix.=
- F- “I hate labels.
I’d rather be curvy than straight any day.”
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13
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- M - I try to, especially around males that I don’t know, I try=
to
put on—I do the tough guy thing. I compete with other males, a=
nd I
work on muscles, I play aggressive sports, and I like to win argumen=
ts.
I’m sort of a dominant personality, in that case.
- But when it really comes down to it, I’m more of a sweet guy =
or a
nice guy. So depending on who I interact with, I display either of t=
hose
roles.
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14
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- F -“I definitely identify my gender as queer, because I feel l=
ike
I can dress in a t-shirt and khaki pants and cargo pants and boy ten=
nis
shoes. I think the only
article of clothing I have to buy in the female section at this point
that I’m wearing is my bra.&n=
bsp;
‘Cause they just don’t make good male bras,
y’know?”
- F – “I’ve always been very feminine, I never went
through the tomboy phase. It was very hard for me when I was getting
older, because my parents just said “Don’t have sex until
you’re married, it’s bad, la la la.” And so I
didn’t know how to handle myself.”
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15
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- M -“I identify as a man, but I guess if it would fit into boxes
I’d be more of a female. I can relate more, I can talk more to
girls about cosmetics and appearance than guys. As for sexuality,
I’m just a sexual person who has an attraction more towards
females. But, I mean, I’ve never ruled out a man, I just
haven’t found one. “
- M - Tell me about it. I’ve just been attracted to females, but
I’m not going to turn down a man, if I like him. That’s
pretty much where I see myself—not as gay, not as straight, as
bisexual but just attracted to people.
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16
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- F -“I identify as a woman, a sexual woman – bisexual is =
too
limiting.”
- F -“I used to identify as lesbian but now I’m just queer
– even lesbian is too constricting. There might be a some cool
feminist guys out there that might be alright to be with.”
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17
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- F- I would identify as queer because it’s like too much pressu=
re
to try to figure everything out. You know what I mean? Like “I don’t r=
eally
know, because I think I’m gay but sometimes I like guys.”
It’s like way too much pressure, so I just like queer, because
then it doesn’t matter, whatever happens is fine. That’s
really nice to know.
- And mostly I find I’m attracted to people who are ambiguously
gendered anyway, which makes that even weirder to try to figure out
because I’m like, “well I like boys, but only boys that =
are
really girly” (laughter) and so it’s really hard to figu=
re
out. I think queer is just good.
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18
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- F- I just think that queer is—it’s a good word for being
able to do whatever you like and having the mobility to do whatever =
you
like.
- F- When I came out, queer theory was not something I had even heard =
of,
and it’s so encompassing now, all-encompassing, just everything
that you want to be that’s not traditionally heterosexual.
That’s something that even I haven’t gotten into myself,=
to
identify myself as queer because I do identify myself as, “Yea=
h,
I’m gay, I’m queer.” But I don’t like
males…I just don’t. I don’t want really anything t=
o do
with them. I mean, yeah, I like talking with my friends…I
don’t hate males, its just…
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19
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- F – “It’s more expected now for women to have care=
ers,
and to be sexual. Although I see there’s still a lot of double
standards, women being called ‘whores,’ but that’s
another issue.”
- M – “It seems like men are starting to be allowed to exp=
ress
their sexuality more. When I say ‘express their sexuality
more,’ I mean be honest with it, and authentic. Like,
they’re allowed to wear tighter, more revealing clothing.̶=
1;
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20
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- F- People are starting to become more aware of it - programs in scho=
ols
and conferences and everything supporting gay rights, queer rights. =
I do
think it is getting better.
- M - As society becomes more open to it—well, not necessarily o=
urs,
but the world society as a whole, then more and more people will have
experience with it and they’ll realize that it’s not the
social “other” that we’ve been fed all of our live=
s.
It’s so refreshing once you can see people come to that. It re=
ally
is.
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21
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- F -“Things are getting better in that people are coming out and
being themselves, which opens the road for other people to be like
‘Okay, maybe I can come out and be myself.’
- But I feel that our social institutions, especially the media, are =
just
pushing ‘hetero hetero hetero’ - stay in your boxes, and=
if
you don’t, we’re just gonna hate you.”
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22
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- F- I think that things are on the upswing, but I’m thinking th=
ere
is a big backlash now because it’s such a… a cultural ch=
ange
going on, in this country anyway…where people are all of a sud=
den
becoming less tolerant, and they’re trying to pass laws to pre=
vent
(gay marriage).
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23
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- F –”This is coming from growing up in a very religious
household, but not necessarily living that lifestyle. And also from =
my
peers and the world in general. Women are still looked at—the
women in the bad girl category are still looked upon as whores, even
with all the changes women are experiencing…I have lots of male
friends, especially from when I was growing up, I had a lot of male
friends, and just the way they talk about women, women they see at b=
ars,
it’s like “Oh yeah, she’s a slut,” I canR=
17;t
even think of some of the words they used.”
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24
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- F- “So many people who I consider to be educated, open minded,
empowered, and then—something will occur, and they just totall=
y go
immediately to an essentialist perspective, oh ‘Boys will be
boys.’ What the =
hell
does that mean? ‘=
;Boys
will be—’ What?
Bullies? Boys w=
ill be
mean? They’ll be=
at up
on other guys.”
- M – “They’ll be rapists.”
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25
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- F- “I recently told my mother that I was bisexual on
Easter…you know, you
say it with the ham, and it’s good. And she freaked out, and I
told her, “Well, you do realize this means I still like
men,” and she’s like “Oh, good.” Like it was calming
her...‘cause she was picturing my future and getting married a=
nd
having kids and all of that, she was seeing that whole line laid out=
in
front of me and all of a sudden I just like cut the line, and she
freaked out.”
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26
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- F- “A lot of people that I know, even people that consider
themselves pretty open in many different ways, still aspire to get
married with one person, buy a townhouse, and settle down and live t=
hat
lifestyle forever. I definitely think that our traditional gender ro=
les
still very much affect a lot of what we do.
- But for myself, now that I’ve been more interested in this is=
sue,
I consciously try to break down those gender stereotypes, where I ca=
n.
Just sort of not think about how I need to act because I’m a
woman, but rather just try to think of how I ought to act based on w=
hat
I want to do and who I am.”
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27
|
- F – “I think a lot of young women are hesitant to initia=
te
sex, especially in a straight relationship. And I can certainly say =
that
from my own experience. I felt that at age 20 I would be empowered
enough not to be that way, but I think if I’m honest about mys=
elf
it’s something that consciously, initially, I wasn’t awa=
re
of, but it still happens.”
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28
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- F – “Girls are encouraged more to be independent, but
it’s at a price. If you are independent, then you’re not
going to get boys to like you, at all, ever. I mean, you’re not
going to get the traditional role guys to like you, which, there are
lots of guys like that out there.
- That’s really hard, because girls are encouraged to go out and=
be
their own people and have confidence and do all this stuff, but then=
in
the end, if they do that, they also feel this need to have boyfriend=
s,
and then they can’t, because they can’t find guys that w=
ill
like them when they’re being really independent.”
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29
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- F- “So I have to find a man, get married, have kids – in=
one
word, ‘straight.’ It just feels like my whole life is
dictated from here on out for the next 50 years and if I don’t
follow all the rules, all the proper steps, then I’m not
‘really’ straight anyway, so I just go ahead and skip the
label, then I don’t have to have all that pressure.”
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30
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- F -“A lot of times, girls are dating those assholes, not even
because they are attracted to them. I think they feel like that̵=
7;s
what they are supposed to do.”
- M – “I definitely started to date way before I was ready=
for
it, and never had a real relationship until college. It was just bec=
ause
that’s what I thought I was supposed to do.”
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31
|
- F- “I’m oriented towards men, but it’s really hard=
for
me to find a guy I can relate to because I think that more guys are =
in
“the boxes” than girls, and I just can’t stand peo=
ple
that don’t have both feminine and masculine traits.”
- F- “I wonder to myself whether my fear of being in relationshi=
ps,
other than my fear of being hurt personally, was also related to the
fact that a lot of guys I knew were trying to be tough guys. And
that’s not at all what I wanted. It was hard to find sweet guy=
s,
because often they wouldn’t be as aggressive as tough guys. And
they wouldn’t approach me, and I was dealing with my own sort =
of
‘Well, I’m supposed to be a good girl, so I shouldn̵=
7;t
be initiating too much, or being too aggressive’.”
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32
|
- F - “I think there’s a lot more room for women to do
whatever their little heart desires, around gender, than there is for men. Women
aren’t as important. Masculinity- what it is to be male - is so
crucial, that if you step out of it a little bit you are labeled. I
really feel like there’s a lot more life-threatening consequen=
ces
for stepping outside of the what’s socially proscribed to be a=
man
than there are for being a female.
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33
|
- Gender-wise…in a lot of ways I’m traditionally feminine,
like I dress really girly and I like to do crafts and knit and croch=
et.
I don’t like to do those things because they’re
traditionally feminine, like a lot of girls who get into those thing=
s,
but I feel like there’s sort of like all these girls that are
reclaiming really girly things in a cool kind of not-really-feminine
way; that’s more how I do it. Even that I choose to dress real=
ly
feminine now—I haven’t always, and it wasn’t like I
was taught to dress really feminine, but as I grew up I was like
“I really like skirts, they’re the best thing to wear ev=
er,
they’re so comfortable.” I like bright colors, and so th=
at’s
how I got into that, not necessarily because it was what I was suppo=
sed
to do. So I guess I ended up kind of girly, but not because I have t=
o be
real traditional and there are lots of other things about me that I =
like
that are not really feminine at all.
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34
|
- M – “A counter-movement that’s going on, that̵=
7;s
pushing against gender freedom. From what I see on campus? Yeah. I l=
ive
juxtaposed to frat row so I see the entire hyper masculine lifestyle
that goes on, the whole “gotta do a kegstand, and get as drunk=
as
I can, and then I gotta see how many of these girls I can drag up to=
my
room before they’re all gone,” kind of an idea.
- I think that’s getting more and more restrictive for people. =
In
some cases. I think it’s going off in both directions, it̵=
7;s
becoming a dichotomy. It’s either completely restrictive or
completely free, I guess... Because I can either get one of those
“What are you?” kind of looks from walking around in my
normal clothes and my hair down, or I can get sort of “I’=
;m
glad you’re here,” reactions. I don’t see much of a
middle ground.
- As far as the masculine roles, the concept of masculine roles—=
;I
do think that we’re losing middle ground, and we’re going
towards extremes.”
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35
|
- F-“It’s
exceedingly difficult for males to experience pleasure emotionally,
whereas physically it’s almost automatic, in the biological se=
nse.
- And for females, we are supposed to focus on the emotional aspects,
feel connected and intimate with our partner, or forget about an org=
asm;
once every six months and you’re having sex every day.
- If you have the typical, hegemonically masculine male, the one
who’s just there for the sex and for the orgasm…I think
it’s detrimental to both parties; it’s not fair to women=
and
it’s not fair to men. Until you look at it holistically - as an
intimacy and a mutual pleasure kind of thing - nobody’s really
going to be happy.
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36
|
- F- “I personally don’t really believe that you can have a
truly profoundly pleasurable sexual experience unless you are really
okay with who you are and you’re really connecting with another
person that you can really connect with. So that becomes essential,
because if both of you are just trying to put on this character all =
the
time, and trying to make that go together, it’s never going to
work out. It’s never really going to be that great.
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37
|
- F (cont.) I have a pretty sad view of men’s pleasure; I think a
lot of times men must have bad sex a lot, all the time, always, beca=
use
they can’t feel anything, and they can’t really feel
pleasure. I just imagine, it must be terrible.”
- M- “And not being allowed to cry.”
- F- “And not being able to know, even know how to even begin to
approach pleasure, to understand how it feels to be touched.”<=
/li>
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38
|
- F: “And not allowed to truly connect with their partners.
It’s something that I’ve experienced, and I’m like,
“Oh my God, are you HERE? What the hell?” We’re tr=
ying
to be close here, and you seem like you’re off in some far-dis=
tant
land.
- It’s so sad, and I think that the “tough guy” is =
sort
of what makes that happen; that men feel like they can’t be
connected to their bodies. They feel like they have to be removed and
they can’t show emotion. How is pleasure ever going to happen =
if
you can’t be in touch with yourself in any way?”
- M – “It doesn’t. Until you can give all that bulls=
hit
up, it doesn’t.”
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39
|
- F- I think obviously there’s a degree of that with women, too,=
but
I think women are told more to be in touch with themselves, and their
sensuality. To some extent, though, because we are allowed to…=
- F - Women are allowed to be more sensual. Men can’t even enjoy
sex. Women at least are allowed to enjoy kissing and caressing and
things like that.
- M - Have you ever touched a boy’s nipples? They freak out. But
it’s such a sensual part of the body, and my God…you
should….oh, wow. I don’t know what to say. (lots of
laughing).
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40
|
- F- A lot of that is based on male-female sex. (In lesbian sex) orgas=
ms
happen all the time. It’s not just the male getting off, and b=
eing
like “See you later, I’m done!” That’s just =
not
how it is. For females sleeping with females, the pleasure is defini=
tely
something, to me at least, that can be heightened for both partners.
They both can have multiple orgasms—or whoever may be
participating. I think that it’s completely different.
- F - I love being with women, because I’m there, here, on their
emotional level. I’ve never really found that with a guy. I
don’t know if it’s just me, because they’re not in
touch with their emotions, but that’s what it is. I love women=
for
the emotionality and that brings me pleasure.
- M - Even as a teenager, experimenting with other guys, it wasn’=
;t
satisfying because of that; it was “you’re just this cute
little boy that I’m going to try to talk into bed and thatR=
17;s
it.” There isn’t a sense of mutuality at all.
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41
|
- F – “I think what is pleasureful, what’s desirable=
-
it’s the sharing of the power, or the absence of the power,
totally. I feel like I’m more attracted to women, on a Kinsey
scale but the characteristics of people that I find pleasureful and t=
he
things that I desire are not strictly female. I just happen to either
find them in women more because of the ways in which women are allow=
ed
to be more flexible, or I’m not in the right town to find enou=
gh
sweet guys.”
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42
|
- M- “It’s so funny to listen to you, because you’re=
so
much into power, and I’m not at all. It’s so neat to hear
that perspective. I think as far as pleasure, I think of comfort. I
don’t think so much of balance of power, I just think of what
people provide; it’s beyond characteristics, it’s beyond
what realm of knowledge someone is familiar with. It’s
just—balance. And feeling comfortable with that balance.”=
;
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43
|
- These data suggest that gender/sexual identity isn’t about bio=
logy
or essence; it’s produced through culturally mediated interact=
ions
with others.
- Illustrate how those in dissident or marginalized communities see
themselves in relation to normative expectations
- Self-other differentiation, binaries, membership categories
|
44
|
- F – (the Christian right). On one hand, I feel sorry for them,
that they’re a dying breed, but I also feel terribly overcome =
with
anxiety about my generation. I feel troubled about our generation. I
feel like it’s a strong part of the counter-movement is our
generation, the kids our age.
|
45
|
- F- “I can’t stand…the dominator/protector, the beer
and tits guys. Guys with that mentality. I just can’t stand to=
be
around them. I don’t want to see them. I stereotype them based=
on
looks and everything. I try to find a person to have relationship wi=
th
that doesn’t fit into either of the boxes. But it’s hard=
. I
meet a lot more girls who don’t fit into the boxes than I do
guys.”
|
46
|
- F- “I think there needs to be a disclaimer - because you can h=
ave
that connection with someone, have a really incredible experience, a=
nd
be with them physically, emotionally, mentally, all at the same time,
and then still, because of whatever, because of their frame of mind,
because of how they grew up, because of the boxes, because of labels=
and
stereotypes, a month later they turn out to be just like everyone el=
se
you’ve met. And all of a sudden, they’re not there
emotionally, mentally, physically, at all.”
|
47
|
- M- “I know I’m not part of the norm, but am affected by =
the
norm, and trying to understand that… Slightly enlightened,
critically thinking.
- Still heavily influenced by male stereotypes and rebelling against =
many
of those while still looking to identify where they live and exist
within me.”
|
48
|
- Additional data collection – more diversity in sample, ethnica=
lly
and in terms of gender=
and
sexual identities.
- Additional questions – how do traditionally identified young
people negotiate these identities?
|
49
|
- Butler, J. (1993). Bodies that matter: On the discursive limits of
“sex.” New York: Rutledge.
- Connell, R. W. (1995). Masculinities. Berkeley: University of Califo=
rnia
Press.
- Crane, B. & Crane-Seeber, J. (2003). The four boxes of gendered
sexuality: Good girl/bad girl & tough guy/sweet guy. In Heasley,=
R.
& Crane, B. (Ed.). Sexual lives: A reader on the theories and
realities of human sexualities, New York: McGraw-Hill.
- Hill Collins, P. (1990). Black feminist thought: Knowledge,
consciousness & the politics of empowerment. Boston: Unwin Hymna=
n.
- Lorbeer, J. (2005). Breaking the bowls: Degendering and feminist cha=
nge.
New York: W.W. Norton & Co.
- Savin-Williams, R. C. (2005). The new gay teenager. Cambridge, MA:
Harvard University Press.
|